Dear interwebz

Kindly recall the following guidance:

  • If you like 20 posts of mine that took several hours to write within 20 seconds, I will treat you like spam (seriously, I watch some people click the stars in rapid succession). I will not follow your stupid blog. Even if it is not a stupid blog. But it probably is.
  • If you write “Interesting post” as your sole comment on posts on my site (and on others’ sites), I will not follow your stupid blog. Your stupid blog is probably not interesting if that is all you can say about my posts (or others’). Bonus: I will mark it as spam.
  • If you like multiple posts of mine and don’t fall into the category of the first bullet and I hover on your site and see it is for gambling, crypto, property, travel, sports or scraped material — you guessed it — I will not follow your stupid blog. If you comment, I will assume it is spam.
  • If I happen to click on a link to your stupid blog and my screen is suddenly awash with ads and flashing things or popups, I will not follow your stupid blog. I will also mark all comments you make as spam. Yay you!
  • If you start preaching to me about religious matters or give me sermons in comments that are entirely disconnected from the conversation at hand, I will not follow your stupid blog. 9/10 times I will also mark you as spam. Based on the content I receive from people in this vein, you need to go study your own religion more before you should try to preach to someone about something you apparently know nothing about.
  • If your comment matches the content of your site, I will not follow you. Especially if it is the sermon you just posted as comment-spam on my site. And your blog is stupid.
  • If you do any kind of feed scraping to populate the posts of your site, your site is, by definition, stupid, and I will not follow it. And I will issue takedown notices if the content is mine and request your stupid site be shuttered.
  • If you are rude to any of my visitors and I do manage to follow you, you are stupid and I will unfollow your stupid site.
  • No. I am not interested in your widget, even if you make the best widgets in the whole wide world. Even if they have nifty images of Bettie Page endorsing them for you. Your widgets are stupid, as well as your site. And I will not follow you.

These are just a few examples of things I expect out of the folks who visit Ravensweald. It does boil down to a simple, single rule:

Don’t be stupid.

michael raven

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18 responses to “Dear interwebz”

  1. Ari Avatar
    Ari

    OMG I almost want to know what triggered you ahahaha

    Reply
    1. michael raven Avatar
      michael raven

      It’s pretty much the usual. All of the above has happened to me in the past week. Yes, really.

      It was the “that’s interesting” comment on eight different posts in one minute that made me wonder… Do people really think we’re that stupid and desperate for engagement?

      And then, a few seconds later, I realize that they are right about that as often as they are wrong. Those are pretty good odds if “likes” and “follows” are someone’s validation metric. Who cares if they are real or fake if that’s the case?

      I’m the weirdo.

      Reply
      1. Ari Avatar
        Ari

        I don’t think you’re the weirdo for wanting genuine reads on your blog. I mean it’s not social media, I feel like my blog is a little more personal space than that, and I’m always eeked out if someone just comments on my posts for the sake of getting a comment on theirs. I’ve had a guy leave behind a comment on the lines of “nice poem.. check out my work at blablabla, I write about blablabla..”and then he writes a paragraph about his blog, under my poem. That pisses me off even more. I usually check out blogs of people who read my stuff any ways, because I figure if they liked my stuff, chances are I might like theirs back, but every time someone asks me to like and follow them in my comments, I will for sure not do it because of the bad taste it leaves in my mouth. Like, dude my comment section is not your publicity board. But I also can’t say that out loud the first time someone does that so I’m stuck T.T I just spam their comments if they do it more than once.

        I think it’s hard for people on social media all the time to disassociate themselves from the that and see blogs as anything different from say someone’s insta page. Even tho, 5000 comments makes no difference for a blog that is not monetized. IDK, I’m just ranting, sorry 🙂

        Reply
        1. michael raven Avatar
          michael raven

          I think I know the guy if it was recent. I did. It was okay. I didn’t follow because it wasn’t my thing. Encouraged him to keep it up, never heard from him again, but saw a near identical comment elsewhere. Just fishing for followers…

          I don’t follow anyone because they request it. Period.

          I had a guys ask to exchange followers lists once. Laughed and spammed him. Another offer to read an erotic piece from a female perspective (with his baritone) who was offended when I said I didn’t really think that would work, even if he was a union voiceover actor (doubt he actually read the piece).

          I ALWAYS spam publicity board requests if I see them elsewhere and edit out that part of the request the first time it appears on my site. Interact for a post or twenty before you try “reaching up my skirt”. Show that you’ve done more than sit on my site for a millisecond to request new followers.

          I don’t think I ask for much. 🤣

          Rant away. I appreciate finding out that there are others out there who hate the same tactics. I’m temped to do a “wall of shame” for repeat offenders like an online friend of mine does for her site (she gets abusive hypersexualized comments, so she calls out the worst offenders who act as if it is an adult chat dialog).

          Reply
  2. sopantooth Avatar
    sopantooth

    Bettie Page brand widgets? Now there’s an idea

    Reply
    1. michael raven Avatar
      michael raven

      Appealing isn’t it?

      Brand new Bettie Page widgets! What do they do? We have no idea!

      Reply
      1. sopantooth Avatar
        sopantooth

        Whatever it is I assume they do it 11% better than Betty Brosmer sponsored Gizmos

        Reply
  3. chrisnelson61 Avatar
    chrisnelson61

    Damn.
    Does this mean that I’m going to actually have to read your posts now? 🤣🤣🤣

    Reply
    1. michael raven Avatar
      michael raven

      Why ever would you start doing that? 😆

      Reply
      1. chrisnelson61 Avatar
        chrisnelson61

        🤣

        Reply
  4. lyndhurstlaura Avatar
    lyndhurstlaura

    I hear you. And I hope I’m not.

    Reply
    1. michael raven Avatar
      michael raven

      I don’t think you are.

      Reply
  5. shredbobted Avatar
    shredbobted

    Funny, bud! These are all good rules to follow for how not to be a good blog neighbor, and all deserving reasons to unfollow.

    Reply
    1. michael raven Avatar
      michael raven

      Or not to follow in the first place. All true stories taking place in the past few weeks…

      Reply
      1. shredbobted Avatar
        shredbobted

        Man, this sort of cool stuff never happens to me . . .😂

        Reply
        1. michael raven Avatar
          michael raven

          Count your blessings. Or write more poetry — that seems to be one of the catalysts.

          Reply
          1. shredbobted Avatar
            shredbobted

            You’ve seen my poetry. I’m still trying to find a way to rhyme “orange” with “Rosalie.”

          2. michael raven Avatar
            michael raven

            Orangalie!

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