everything falls apart — a serial

AUTHOR’S NOTE and EARLY CONCEPTS

TOC

[Aug 10, 01:39] Recorder — fuckity

Well, I managed to turn that into a shitshow, didn’t I?

[21 seconds of silence in recording]

I don’t know what Kelly [kali] was going on about. I don’t understand. No one talked. If you can believe nails [Nils], he didn’t say anything to the kid at the store. I didn’t say anything to anyone. Even played stupid with DK.

Maybe he did say something like the package was mesh gear or something. Nell [Nils] would slip something like that if he got angry and forgot to keep that detail quiet.

He’s such a hothead, wouldn’t put it past him.

Fuck.

I hope he doesn’t go to the store and try to recover the gear.

Shit. That’s exactly the kind of thing he might do. When he comes back after cooling off, maybe I’ll ask him not to. Just pay him back. The rainy day fund he doesn’t know about can probably handle that. Forget Scotland though.

Dammit!

[clattering noises]

[music starts up in the background, heavy drums with wailing guitar. Shazam identifies the song as One Hundred Years, by the Cure.]

Gods. I haven’t listened to this in ages. It’s like an old lover come back for a languishing kiss.

I need it.

Kelly [kali] said she didn’t hack me. It feels strange to say it out loud, but I believe her. Not that she couldn’t if she wanted to, but that it wasn’t her thing.

He’s taking his sweet time with that smoke that we both pretend I don’t smell on him. I never asked him to quit, just asked him to not do it in the house. Of course, that man took it to the next level and just had to prove he could quit.

Except.

He didn’t.

Another liar.

Well, you knew that Alice, when you started to date him, right? What a nice replacement you made.

And now he lives with you.

He must be walking halfway to Hudson and back. In some ways, I hope he keeps walking after tonight. Not sure I want to listen to him tell me more of what is wrong with me when he comes back in. I’m sure he keeps an itemized list for such discussions.

I hate it when we fight. Too much like home.

Kinda wish I had a smoke myself, if I’m honest.

[silence as the song winds down. a foghorn or cello (?) in the background; a new song begins but Alice turns down the volume before Shazam can identify]

It’s not the money. I mean, the money’s nice and all, but—

And sex. So-so. I’ve had better.

I wonder if Nell’s [Nils] is—

Shush, Alice. That’s the tired speaking. Just go to bed and try to sleep when he gets home. I give you permission to just let it be all silent treatment and wait ’til morning.

Where is that man?

[Aug 10, 06:39] Recorder — Aug 10 at 06:39

Nell’s [Nils] got home a bit ago.

Wouldn’t look at me.

Walked right past me to the shower without saying a word. Might have thought I was couch camping, but that’s never stopped him waking me up before when he has something to say.

He usually has to get in the last word.

He didn’t smell like cigarettes.