I recently realized that sometimes I take what was said or done in the past and apply it to the present, which is flawed thinking when I consider how it might the reality of a given situation.
Yes, that’s how our minds tend to work — we use our experiences to inform our futures and presents. That’s how we try to maximize our situations to our advantage.
And, often, it works as intended.
But there are times where the past does not necessarily inform the present. Or, even when the past informs the present, it does so with such imperfection as to be essentially useless. Instead of advantage, assumptions about the past offer us greater opportunities to stumble and fall face-first into a cow pie. And that’s if we are lucky. Unlucky, we tend to crash and burn in a dung heap.
I’m often on the unlucky balance of the equation. [Aside: If I didn’t have bad luck, I’d have no luck at all, as the saying goes.]
I need to remind myself that, absent other assurances from the past, there is still only the eternal present. Putting too much faith in the (often illusionary) past to explain the present is a fool’s errand. Forget about the future.
Excuse me while I go remind myself of the nature of things by sitting in the dojo of my mind…
17 responses to “Half-penny thoughts — 02jun25”
Sage advice. Self-forgiveness has a lot to do with letting go of the past. I have a hard time with that and there are two huge and negatively impactful instances of regretful decisions made in the past that continue to color my present. It’s a daily struggle, but I’m working on the self-forgiveness aspect. Hopefully that will help me to let go of the past.
There is that element, too. I have one HUGE regret that I haven’t come to terms with even half a lifetime away, so I know what you mean. Self-forgiveness is essential (easier said than done).
I agree. But it’s not easy to put into practice. We all have our pasts to contend with.
I always wonder when people think such things are “a piece of cake”. I figure they haven’t a clue if they find it easy.
I think with age this accumulates. And it’s not so easy to let drop. And somethings just take time. It’s almost like, if you do find it easy, you’re not really taking on the root of the problem .
A while back I had an encounter with the past, and discovered something unpleasant in something which I’d thought quite pleasant back then. I actually felt better for knowing it, however, because it explained other things that I couldn’t work out at the time. That must sound a bit confused, but it’ll have to do. Conclusion for me is to leave the past in the past, where possible. As this particular instance came knocking on my door I had to confront it – but given the choice I’d rather let sleeping pasts lie. I hope you manage to come to terms with yours. 🙂
That’s never fun. I haven’t had one of those in a while. Although, having been prompted by my friend contacting me, I did a search on another real pen matter (pen and paper, snail mail) and may have discovered she passed away unexpectedly in 2007. That was an unpleasant discovery this morning…
But yours sounds like something on the side of awful that I can guess at (and, lucky for me, the person I relate yours to has seen for to have left well enough alone).
But this pondering is not the negative type for me, but more about just trying to get my Zen on with my life and reminding myself that both past and future are illusions. Sometimes you can’t make decisions about stuff based on what you think you know. Sometimes it’s best to just let whatever happens happen and move on with the river’s flow.
It something like that.
I get you, and I think I’m not doing too badly on the ‘go with the flow’ side of things. Today I decided not to read a book that had looked interesting because it was about people a bit different in a way that I am. Reading the free sample I realised that they were all stressing about their difference, trying to justify it etc – while I’ve always been okay with it. A boost to my self-confidence, and no need to read about others’ angst on the subject. Life’s an illusion, filling time from cradle to grave, and I’m okay with that for some years now. 🙂
Life is but a dream …
I think it’s difficult not to let the past (or our perception of it) cloud the present. Letting go sounds easy, and in some ways it is possible, but then things do have a nasty habit of cropping up unexpectedly just to shake our development. Similarly to not consider the future is also extremely difficult – I feel that those who profess to ‘only live in the moment’ are either lying to themselves or trying to present themselves as ‘other- worldly’.
Good points.
And I didn’t know that either is necessary. But to react to the events of this moment now based on the past is not entirely reliable in many situations especially when peopling.
Take, for example, just because you were best friends with someone in you twenties and you had everything in common with each other does not translate into a renewed friendship after thirty years apart. Assuming so means that both of you were static that whole period, but you’re dynamic in reality.
In that case, the past is not a very good indicator, even after a single year instead of decades.
You are therefore best served by taking this renewed friendship as each present moment unfolds.
Or I’m just overthinking stuff. 😆
Not overthinking, no, and I think generally you are correct. Of course it’s not unthinkable for friends to lose touch and reconnect thirty years later and find that their journeys have followed similar paths, but, probably in most cases, we lose friendships at a point when they need to be broken.
Now who’s cynical!
That’s why I get along with you so well, though. We’re both on the cynical side and can still chuckle over it anyway.
You’ve gotta laugh, as they say!
Yes, and I you too; we pretty much see things from the same angle (which is refreshing).
It can’t rain all the time.
Well, it can, but: Chin up. Marshal on.
You’ve been to the UK…yes, it can! Metaphorically speaking too; it’s just degrees – a gentle shower or downpour, it’s all rain!
Seattle can be much the same. 🌧️