I am already dead.
Waiting for the bonfires to burn bridges as I drop the Owl Creek heights, dreaming a life the going away.
I ghost the nightmare lonesome.
Waiting.
I am already dead.
Waiting for the bonfires to burn bridges as I drop the Owl Creek heights, dreaming a life the going away.
I ghost the nightmare lonesome.
Waiting.

“Summer folks take the highway. Anything walking the grade after the leaves drop, you lock your shed and leave the porch light on.”
— Overheard at the café counter, Jeffers
The man came in with the late October leaves on a blustery wind.
Jacob White couldn’t rightly say whether it was those leaves skittering across the station’s gravel apron or the chattering of his teeth brought on by the chill in the air that rattled in his head.
It were cold. No debate in that.
His breath said so and, if that weren’t proof enough, the frost-kissed leaves caught in the nooks of the gas station’s fifties-era painted stucco were enough to give tell. He was glad Mavis had forced his coat on him, though he had waved her off out of habit. He had never cared for mothering, not from his own mother and sure as hell not from his wife.
Jacob was reasonably certain the lanky ragamuffin of shadow flapping towards him were a man, anyway. Or a woman built like one. It were hard to know for sure, what with a ragged hood around the face leaving only a pale jawline to say.
He didn’t much care if folks played at lady or gent, so long as their credit card were good after he had gone and filled up their tank.
Jacob wondered if this were one of them hobos nursing time by the tracks while centerbeams and boxcars banged together. Their type rarely wandered out as far as the station, but it happened on occasion. This one weren’t local. He wondered if a call to A-1 Towing were needed, though most visitors passing through had a cell phone these days.
Folks always passed through Jeffers. No one accused the town of being a destination since that old copper mine flooded back in forty-three. Those who could move on, did. Jacob might have moved on when he was younger if he hadn’t caught a case of cabin fever and ended up getting married in the courthouse.
By now, his visitor had come close enough to warrant the courtesy of a greeting, though there were no one to mark the omission and Jacob had decided on “friend”. Neighborly. Safe.
“How’s by you, friend?” he asked, offering more a raised hand than a wave.
The stranger looked up, surprised to see Jacob. They drew back the hood. Underneath: layers of pilled wool sweaters, threadbare thermal shirts, flannel peeking from an army-surplus peacoat.
The stranger’s facial features went all soft and fuzzy. Whatever shape were there got lost in that smile, bright where all else were dark. It were mostly teeth, from what Jacob could see.
“Fair enough, I expect. And you?” Voice pitched deep, but might have passed for some women. Jacob’s Aunt Cynthia had a voice like that.
“Eh, I’d be about the same.”
They both stood a spell, not saying a thing while Jacob stared at those teeth.
The stranger nodded towards the station.
“Might you have a spot of coffee to chase away this cold?”
The smile the smile the smile.
“I can pay,” they added, before he could ask.
Jacob shook away the cobwebs that filled his head. “Yah. Just brewed up a fresh batch.”
Perhaps Jennie Corbin were able to bat her eyelashes at Jacob for a free cup of joe on her way to work in what passed for downtown in Jeffers, but this person — whether man or woman — weren’t wearing the skirts that showed off Jennie’s mighty fine legs, now were they?
The smile.
“Buck-fifty a cup tho’, no refills.”
The stranger chuckled, though Jacob didn’t see anything funny.
“Is it black as sin? Or are you selling what they’ll be handing out in church basements?”
That made Jacob laugh. “Ain’t been a churchgoer for a number of years now, so I’ve been spared that dishwater they have the indecency to call coffee.”
“Then that’d be a fair ask for a cuppa.” They gestured towards the blacktop gone white in the autumn frost. “Might pick up a second for the road at that.”
cord and porcelain
her face frozen pale with
twinned soul at youth
they carved her in rouge
and lips paint-red for
the dance the dance
the dance
never once caring
she wanted only to rest
hanging for crossed sticks
stage to wander and windblown
with spirits in the wings wanting
waiting for breath to share and warm
languishing in lime waiting on rhyme
to carry them to a world's end
before puppetstringed audiences
to gasp one
last time
welcome to my trashcan wonderland
pulled apart at sutures and seams
and filled with automata screams
when i speak to you in english while
you misunderstand my french
the steamwork's fires burn bright
to paint the skies soot and sorrow
so hush now baby, babe & lay to rest
'cos the jabberwock rusts tonight
between bone and needle
or heart gone wither
drag leg past the fell behind
"hey luv, are you there?"
"shush now." given to
waving phantoms away
and slumber winterlong
with cats the cave grey
come, let us go to bed & slumber
for long the day to while the night
to slip of dream and slip away, to
dawn the razor on the edge of a knife
let our everything forget to wake
I takes a special kind of arrogance to unleash your child upon the world and expect everyone else to just deal with them when you haven’t bothered to teach them acceptable behaviors because they are “on the spectrum” (often self-diagnosed and over-diagnosed) or “have ADHD” (also frequently self-diagnosed and over-diagnosed).
I have dealt with children in the world who have clinical evidence of these issues, so I know what the problems can be. And both are overwhelmingly popular excuses for when a kid acts up.
And yet, somehow, parents of children with these issues manage to teach them how to behave in public and in other people’s home. I suspect it has more to do with the permissiveness at home (or lack of constraints when they are allowed out of the home) than any functional issues with their mental well-being.
(more…)
trimming away all selves to sit covered, quiet and lean, within the mists of life's chill november rains
A rune poem, based on an Elder Futhark rune selected at random.
Today’s rune is uruz. The rune is named after the now-extinct aurochs, a wild ox and has become associated with standing up to challenges, having both confidence and courage, stubborn tenacity, and boundless strength and health. Uruz is alternately associated with the more raw elements which include rain, primordial potential, and the slag/dross cast away during the making of iron.
Please visit my Elder Futhark pages at sceadugenga.com for additional interpretations of the runes based on multiple references and personal reflection.
leaving night to the night
washing day with the day
bone dragging dirt for
all the shouting that
should be soft whispered
waiting on venus to break
delta under dew stained dawn