I visit plenty of places on the internet lately for or by writers and I recently encountered this strange theme on one site where all of the writers seemed to all be posting in the theme of “you’re a great writer, keep writing” affirmations for each other. Some were even pretty self-congratulatory (“yes, I like my own posts and I am not ashamed to”). Still others were of the “everyone here is the best writer”.
Now… I’m not against encouragement. I’ve even partaken in it myself. But when it becomes a common, daily and reoccurring theme… I have the strong urge to pinch my nose and walk away from that kind of community. Even if it is well-intended community-building, it still smells like bullshit.
Write, don’t talk about how great everyone else’s writing is (and god-forbid, don’t tell me how great you think your own writing is).
What do you think?
Am I just being a humbug? Or does it feel like a weird kind of phony? Do these folks really mean it? Or are they just saying it, hoping that others will pay it forward until it boomerangs back?
30 responses to “half-penny thoughts | 18jul25”
I completely agree with you. I have the double-whammy of being both a writer and an editor. From a practical standpoint, growth is impossible without constructive criticism. I find it impossible to self-edit and I’m an editor. I need honest feedback.
The best work manager I ever had was a brutal, yet kind, editor and mentor. I learned so much about technical writing from him, and we keep in touch to this day. He didn’t earn my friendship by kissing my butt. I’m wary, like you, of people who do that.
What’s weird is the number of posts where that’s it for the post: tweet-length affirmations.
Granted, maybe the AI is trying to curate that for me, but it is just bonkers all the flowerpower love people are declaring for each other and themselves.
Or, maybe I’m just a loveless curmudgeon. There could be that possibility.
Brilliantly said, and I couldn’t agree more. A little genuine encouragement? Lovely. Necessary, even. But when it turns into a daily affirmation echo chamber, it starts to feel like a performance, more about mutual ego-stroking than actual writing.
There’s a huge difference between thoughtful feedback and empty flattery. If everyone’s “the best,” then no one’s improving; we’re just wading through polite noise. Writing isn’t a group hug; it’s a craft. And sometimes the best support is honest silence while someone gets the work done.
So yes, less clapping, more creating. And definitely no need to applaud your own encore. 🧡
It was just eerie. As you said, if felt as if I had stepped into a writers’ echo chamber where everyone was a good boy or good girl, and everyone deserved a treat.
I began to wonder if I really had entered the matrix.
My tip off? Too much positivity. It reminded me of neighbors at the cabin I visited all summer every year as a kid. Those neighbors were creepy in how it could be pouring rain and they would praise God for His Generosity even if it meant they couldn’t go swimming in the lake or fishing — the reason they would come to the cabin on the weekends.
Yes, the toxic positivity vortex. Where even the thunder is a blessing and soggy socks are “a divine foot massage.” I know exactly the type.
There’s something unsettling about spaces (online or off) where every response is filtered through relentless cheerfulness. It stops feeling human. Real life, and real writing, lives in nuance, contradiction, and occasionally just calling a rainy day what it is.
I’d take a cranky, authentic voice over a Stepford smile any day. 😂🧡
🤣 “Divine foot massage”. Love it.
Nothing like soaking wet socks and holy optimism to really round out the experience! Glad that one gave you a giggle!🧡
It made me miss the local Irish pubs with the resident expats. Not the booze, but the understated, off-center humor that filled the space.
Ah yes, that perfectly peculiar pub banter, dry as the Guinness and twice as bold. It’s never really about the drink, is it? It’s the characters, the quiet wit, and those sideways stories that somehow say more than a full-blown conversation ever could. Miss it too even though I live in Ireland 😂
🧡
LOLOLOL
You need to experience ours then. Although after fifteen years away and now sober, it might not be what I remember it being. Funny how the pints improved the atmosphere the more I had. Something akin to what I used to say: “My singing improves when I drink. It really improves the more you drink.”
Thanks for the laugh.
Smells like Ben, who’s going home… lol.
Who you, humbug? 😂💗
Bah! 😠
😂
Meeee too.. wait till xmas! 😆
Encouragement is nice. But there’s a line there, and crossing it seems a bit strange. Too much affirmation seems kinda phony.
Right, it was like going to twitter and expecting venom everywhere you look, except everyone was tweeting how great everyone else was. Which feels more creepy than it should. Uncanny valley.
I don’t handle compliments well. I’d run. I feel like I’d suspect automation if I saw that too much anywhere. Sure it’s nice to be told something you’ve written strikes something in someone. Or even that you’ve done well. But if it seems phony it probably is. Being confident in your writing is good too, but I’ve never met a writer who bragged that they were the best. I’m sure they exist though. I think you’re right to be suspicious.
It was a very odd experience. I’ve never seen so much free love. And the most I can muster about my own writing is “that’s not as horrid as it might have been”. 🤣
Like I said it might have been the algorithm. But… Wow.
You do some stellar writing though, Jenn. Don’t run away! Come back! Please?!?
Haha I appreciate the praise of the writers I admire. And friends. I think it’s the heaps of compliments from strangers that make me feel strange. If only people knew the majority of my writing I feel “could be so much better”. I’m very guilty of editing and changing poems written 10+ years ago. ☺️
You’re very good. I think so anyway, for what it’s worth. I’m looking forward to seeing much more 💕
you have me laughing so hard at this one: ““everyone here is the best writer” !!! EVER! : )
Ever!
But not me. I’m striving for “not quite terrible” at the moment… 🙂
I’m good with that, too. : )
💙
If you’re a humbugging curmudgeon, I’m right there with you. I’ve left social media groups which are full of writers all reading and reviewing each other’s books, all 5* or at least 4*, the latter by the brave. They’re all working on the idea that many reviews = more being shown by the Zon, but I still don’t think that works. They’re in a group of false positivity, and I don’t want to be part of that. I want honest reviews from readers who don’t know me, rather than fakes given in the hope of reciprocity. So I don’t get too many reads or reviews, but at least most of what I get is genuine ( bar the professional trolls with the their own sick agendas). It is sad however that I can’t give honest reviews to the books of people I know or even give them feedback before reviewing because I know from experience that they won’t take critical feedback and suggestions for improvement kindly. So I give 3* ratings (usually), and they don’t know I’ve read it. Whatever. But I know my books aren’t the best, and strive to make my new work better. I just wish others could be the same, instead of churning out more of the same. Rant over, but I’m with you, fellow grumpfuttock. 😂😏
That’s the problem of toxic positivity. You can’t be honest and, if for some reason you dare to even suggest that someone is less than the best at what they do or that they could improve on “such-or-that”, you’re a negative Nelly.
I’ve been around both types: the kind of writers who only look to drag you down and put you in your place while elevating themselves, and this weird toxic stuff masquerading as positivity and community. I left the attending the local writing workshops because of the former (which have improved since 2010, but I can’t be arsed to find out after my experience) and this current online trend of mutual high-end reviews and positivity are just absurd. If they think Amazon and others haven’t figured out they are trying to game the algorithm, those folks are delusional as well as absurd.
Completely agree. I’ve never been a team player anyway, always a loner to a great extent. Nowadays I have a couple of close friends only, just one of whom I trust to read my manuscripts before I publish, and I return the favour. But mutual back-slapping societies just aren’t me. I have tried – there’s always this feeling that you should be running with the pack – but it just ain’t me. I join in where I feel comfortable, and as for the rest, forget it. Good to know a fellow outlier though. 🙂
Oh, I think you’re right.
In the first place writing should be done for one’s self and not to seek plaudits from others. And this ‘you scratch my back’ culture means nothing.
I don’t understand anything most days. It’s all very Wonderland.
Ugh toxic positivity! I logged out of my social media (FB, Insta) at the start of July & my god I feel better – I’m very much enjoying the peace 😊
Less toxicity in general when you limit or refrain from social media, at least that’s my experience. Good on you! Hope your peace carries on. Blessed be.