I am on the drift again. The wending roads beckoning from my within, an untethering from my abouts.
Though the weather is still too warm still for such things, I drew on my fleece jacket, pulled up the hood around my face and over my head as I walked from car to my once-a-week-office-space and felt at home within the folds of fabric. My bare legs incongruent with the jacket over my torso, but I could care less. I used to half-jest that I was made for kilts — my legs have always been too warm and I still wear shorts at home in the winter when everyone else wraps themselves in thick blankets.
When I pondered on that walk at what I have been becoming, I recall that I have been making far too many jokes about Gandalf The Grey of late. I am betting I will eventually need a cane, my body delivers spite upon itself some days. But I don’t want one of those sensible, aluminum canes with the rubber tips and adjustable lengths, more often in recent years having four legs of its own for increased stability.
No, that’s not how I see myself. I see myself with either a sword-cane like one would find in those old-time British dark academia tales with polite not-quite-swashbuckling aristocrats — gentlemen adventurers — or I want to walk around with a staff like a Taoist monk (that doubles as a jo for personal protection). Or Gandalf the Grey, with a hooded cloak.
For that, I might need to grow out my beard to at least my chest. And buy a hooded cloak. Jury is out on the catfish mustache, which may determine if it is a small staff or a great staff. Sensible staff goes with outrageous mustache. Sensible wizard beard goes with large staff.
I want to pull a hood around my head and go back to drifting. I would rather follow my nature.
Do you drift? How?
17 responses to “Half-penny thoughts | 20aug25”
I used to drift from becoming tattooed. But that stopped 4 years ago when I moved from FL to DC. Not sure how I drift any longer….will have to think about that.
Drift on! 🙂
I can totally see you becoming Gandolf The Grey with your weaved cloak and crooked staff. I see you moving through a foggy forest, perhaps singing a tune to yourself. A raven lands beside you, warning you of rain and you laugh, unafraid of such things. “I felt it already in my bones,” you say, bending to pick up an interesting rock to put into your cloak pocket. You know exactly where you’ll put it.
I find myself in a similar place these days, looking forward to a version of myself I’ve never been able to picture before. But now, as a few strands of silver have grown along my temples, I’ve decided to grow my hair out. Embrace it.
I see myself with long-greying braids, long-faded skirts, a crooked staff because of my aching hip. I move through the forest looking for wild berries and perfect spider webs. Maybe there’s a dog beside me. I think about the tea kettle back home and quicken my steps.
And I do most days (already). My joints are always screaming when inclement weather is on the way. 😂
And I’ve got my muttering to myself down. Singing? Less so.
I can see you as that picture of yourself. I can also see you finding doors in the forest no one else can see until you open the door.
Aww! Thank you. May we both find those doors.
I’ve been saying for years cloaks should come back. They seem really warm and comfy. And I agree about the cane. Go classic.
I’m tempted to hit up the local Ren Fest and pick one up at twice the price I can buy one on Etsy. Both cloak and staff. I might roll some eyeballs right out of their sockets, but that’s acceptable collateral damage.
Nice. I love the plan.
Go for it. I used to wear a long black hooded cloak in my teens, and worked for a while helping original medieval-style clothes which I wore under it. Then I grew older and more conventional, but I often think I’d like to drift back to those days. Happy drifting! 😎
I also find some comfort in dressing as I did as a teen and early 20-something. Much of what I am just riffing on is based in part. on those days.
Of course, I don’t get out much these days, so I stick to repetition and comfort. One less decision to make for the day when everything is variation of the same thing. Just grab the parts and go. 😉
Ah, yes mental drifting.
I was always draw to the Romantic Arthurian legends when I was younger – and there was nothing better than standing alone in a deserted ruin lost in the imagination!
I wish we had old ruins like you have.
I used to be really absorbed in Arthurian myth and those older myths upon which they were built. So jealous.
I suspect that I may well have become one!🤣
Yes, and there are some hidden treasures if you look hard enough. Something to be said for a turbulent history.
Or, at least, lengthy history. 🐦⬛
I think if you get a cane you are a badasss. Most people refuse them, but I think a good walking stick would be the bomb.
They see it as a sign of weakness. I say, let people underestimate you. They’re in for a surprise. 😂
I agree 100%. Nothing like getting beat by an old man with a cane to make youngsters realize who really wears the pants in this world.