Happy Thanksgiving, if you’re the kind of folks who celebrate such things. My mother didn’t give an option to decline the festivities and, having grown up in an environment where Catholic Guilt Syndrome was (and is still) employed as the weapon of choice, I’ll be heading out in a bit to do family things.
But, as Arlo Guthrie sang, “Alice — remember Alice?”… [listening to Alice’s Restaurant Massacree on Thanksgiving is about the only personal tradition worth keeping in my mind, but—]… let’s get on with my weird, cheap thoughts for the day. But first:
In my shower moments, maybe in those moments leading up to the shower as well, I was thinking (once again) about the nature of crushes.
If you are anything like most of the folks out there (there are a few who are immune to such things, I grant you), you’ve probably had at least one crush in your life. From Oxford’s book of the word-things a crush is: “a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable or inappropriate“.
Just so we’re all on the same page-like…
I certainly recall some of my earliest crushes. I think a young lady named Carolyn was probably the most intense and worst of the first. She sat behind me in algebra class and leveraged that crush to get homework help. Oh, you can be sure about that. Did I ever stand a chance? LMFAO. Umm. No. She was, as they say, out of my league. I’ve heard stories, and I’m not sure how true they are, but I probably was better for it remaining unrequited if even half are true. That year was agony for me, though, as best as I can recall.
There were also those celebrity crushes that (I think) everyone has. Mine was Siouxsie (from Siouxsie and the Banshees), a fragment of which I still carry in my heart all these years later.
There have been others throughout the years, even a few fictional character crushes (I know, weirdo!).
What got me to thinking today about such things is that my twins are reaching that age of crushes. At least, I think the late tween years seems like a sensible point, and they have friends who have crushes (although it is far too confusing for me to understand those interactions these days), but they deny having any themselves. And that’s fine, I’m not concerned at all about it.
But then I got to wondering if there is an upper threshold where someone should stop having crushes on someone else. Is there an age where having a secret crush on someone is kind of weird or inappropriate? I’m not saying that it is something you plan to pursue or would like to pursue. Maybe just a “another time, another place… and assuming there was a chance in hell” vibe. Is there a point where you really ought to grow up, or do you think there is no real upper end as long as you’re situationally sensible about it?
I’m guessing I’m going to see a split in the responses, where some of you are going to put it into a “of course it is okay until you die” to a “umm, that’s a teenage thing” to “umm… never, and I mean ever, are you allowed to have a crush on a fictional character. That’s… creepy”.
Shoot your thoughts to me below.
And remember: “If you want to end war and stuff you got to sing loud. […] So we’ll wait till [the chorus] comes around again, and this time [I want you to sing along] with four part harmony and feeling.”
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
[Excepting Alice]
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
36 responses to “Half-penny thoughts — 27nov25”
I don’t personally see the harm in crushes – that includes fictional book characters 😅 guess I’m weird too 😜
I readily admit that Death (Sandman graphic novels), Doctor Tae Takemi (from Persona 5) and Min Farshaw (Wheel of Time) all had a period of being crushed on. And others, I am sure, but I’ve embarrassed myself enough already. 😅
No need to be embarrassed 😊 and thank you for the timely reminder by mentioning Sandman – still got the last series to watch on Netflix 😅
Have fun!
Oh Happy Thanksgiving….totally forgot that part 🤣 I’m definitely giving away my britishness in the comments today
That’s okay. A part of my soul resides across the pond, so I completely understand.
I don’t know, my first crush was on Tim Robbins, and I secretly still have a crush on him. I’ve never met him, and he’s married to one of my favorite actresses. Technically, that might make my ethics questionable, but I’d never reach out to him, nor will I ever meet him. So, does that cancel out a 30-year-long crush on a married man? If I ever did meet him, I’d probably just be awkward, wander off quickly, or maybe ask how his wife is. I doubt that’s helpful. Happy Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving to you as well.
These half-penny posts are often for amusement. It’s helpful to read everyone’s responses because then it helps daylight things that people sometimes never say out loud and often shows how similar we are in our thinking. It helps us understand a different view (at least that’s how I use opposing views).
Crushes don’t have to be an ethical thing unless you act on them. So I think you’re good unless you’re hiding out in Tim’s shrubbery 😊
That’s fuel for thought… Do the ethics matter at all if you just harbor a crush and don’t act on it?
I’m sure there are people more pure of thought than me who disagree, but I don’t see a conflict.
Thanks!
I’m a chronic crusher. Too many to count. Even actors I’ve watched for years and admired one day I’ll suddenly be like “Wow, I think I have a crush on them.” Most recently Daniel Day Lewis. I’ve loved his acting for forever but just yesterday I saw him in The Unbearable Lightness of Being and I was like “ok, I think I’ve been in denial over my love for him since The Crucible.” No shame. My husband is also very aware of my giddy crush on a local musician here in my town. I turn into a blushing mess when he interacts with me at shows. It’s innocent. Just a “musician crush” like the one I have on Patrick Stump from Fall Out Boy. Yeah, I have a billion crushes and let’s not even get into fictional characters. Mr. Darcy? In my teens I was obsessed with Holden Caufield…(Yeah, I know!) There’s been so many and I doubt I’ll ever stop. So I say crush away. I think my first crush ever was the old host of Where in the World is Carmen San Diego? Oh and then Fox Mulder. I had these crushes at 10! I think I’ve just always been a hopeful romantic and I see nothing wrong with it.
Yep. Whew. At least I’m not the only one.
Daniel Day Lewis is a handsome man, not gonna fault you there. And Fox? Who wouldn’t, as long as you could hand his quirks of personality?
I wonder what it is about Holden that attracts you — is it his distaste for the phony? Or is it just that he’s relatable? Or something else?
I’m probably more on the hopeless side of the equation than hopeful, but I get the romanticism. 💙
I really don’t know about Holden. I was a teen probably tired of phonies, yes. 😁
I haven’t much tolerance for them even now. I get it. 💙
I should also add that I am the female Fox Mulder haha
😁
I don’t know if there is a limit on crushes, but I’ve definitely had them. And I’ve had a couple fictional character crushes over the years. There’s one I still have a heart pitter-patter over when I think about it. Sigh. My current crush is way out of my league. They always are.
That’s part of what makes them crushes, I think —being out of our league.
I’m typically not even in the same sport, let alone the same league. Whatcha gonna do?
Still, it can be fun to imagine otherwise.
(I don’t know why I didn’t see this notification until just now. 🤷🏼♀️)
Yeah. Same here. A whole ‘nother ball game, as they say. God I’m pathetic. LMAO.
It happens at times to me as well. I always wonder if the internet goblins are particularly hard at work on some days and slackers on others.
Maybe… I’m time traveling and that’s why I miss some messages until much later…
Ohhh time traveling. That’s the ticket.
Next thing you know, you’re on a planet in another galaxy with some guy you’ve never met before, naked and in a zoo environment, where aliens are watching you, wondering what you will do. [Apologies to Vonnegut…]
Naked…. mmmmmm….
And… aliens. 👽😯
I love the ‘Alice’s Restaurant Massacree’; it was a part of my teens, and I still listen to it regularly. I hope you had a Thanksgiving dinner that could not be beat today. As to crushes – I don’t think there’s an upper limit. I’ve had too many down the years to remember any in particular – yes, just because you’re married you don’t go blind, and my husband knows my taste too well. He sees someone before I do and know I’ve going to be liking the eye candy in front of me before I know it; it makes for a good laugh between us. Oh, and I’ve had a crush on one of my own creations, a real bad boy in one of my books; shame I had to finish him off! There’s nothing serious about them, it makes life interesting. All the best for yours. 🙂
It’s one of my favorite folksy songs 😊
Yeah. I will admit I like to people watch when I actually go out. I doubt there is an upper limit where having a crush is allowed, but it’s good to hear that people are of the same general mindset. 😂
It might be one of the few positives I find about having contact with other people – finding out that many of them have the same impulses etc and I’m not a complete weirdo! 🙂
Happy Thanksgiving 🦃
Happy Thanksgiving to you too 💙
I have never been committed to anyone for more than a couple of years, and I just don’t want to live with anyone anymore. But I still have a longing. It is in my nature to desire the embrace of another. And I find myself willing to be a fool for the impossible thing. I will probably fall for my hospice nurse.
I understand how that can go. Being a fool has it’s charm, which explains why I’ve never managed to be much more than a fool for most of my life.
Here’s to hoping you find a reciprocating hospice nurse 😁
I have a crush on Alice. And Arlo. And you😜
Thank you sweetie 😘
😘
I’m not sure that it’s ever wrong to have a crush – after all it’s a legitimate feeling and when would you ever say ‘you’re this age you need to stop feeling angry/ sad/ hopeful/ depressed?’
Impossible or fantasy crushes? Why not – although I’ll admit to never having had one.
Don’t all these things add to who we are?
I’m always fascinated by the feelings and relationships that we remember and those we forget (although by forgetting them how do know that we actually have forgotten anything?). Not all, for me anyway, seem to be of any significance, which is weird as why do they come back? But that’s a whole née topic.
Cheers for the thinking point!
No crushes at all? Aww!
I’m probably a hopeless romantic. Which is probably why I like Arthurian Romances and Waterhouse paintings 😊
Excuse me. My courtly is showing. I’ll tuck that back under my skirt…
No ‘fantasy’ crushes. School days is another thing. I guess my true crush was actually Romance itself – well why not set the bar impossibly high?
Good point!