Ever get that whole, “oh, piss on it all” moods?
No angry so much as just exhausted by trying to live in a world that doesn’t seem to much care for you or what you do? A world that insists you stay in your place at the margins because your clockwork is not in full synchronization with all the other Barbie and Ken influencers that get paid to try to turn us into a commercial product (or, at least, someone who endlessly consumes)?
Or, maybe just weary at being the only person who believes in holding doors open for another person (regardless of gender), or letting a car merge ahead of you in rush hour traffic (typically to get the bird flipped at you because you slowed down to do so)?
Or maybe trying to do something other than what a prompt into an AI chatbox can do: music, writing, art, opinion, philosophy, (or, I don’t know, make the sparkliest rhinestone jacket anyone has ever rhinestoned), what have you — only to see people cheer on AI slop or write a “roses are red, violets are…” composition while you are greeted with crickets? And a jacket Liberace would have envied.
Or where someone says “It’s been a while since we spoke,” acting as if it was more like “last winter”, but was closer to 20 years? And then thinking it will be as if it were last winter indeed, when you know for a near fact that you might not speak for another 10 years after they satisfy their need to say they kept in touch, or discover that you can’t go back after 20 years with the click of twin ruby slippers and chant, “there’s no place like home”.
You get a choice most of the time: take one pill to buy into the delusion and conform. Or take the other pill and stay beyond the pale.
Looking at one hand, then the other. Pausing. Contemplating. Navel gazing. Philosophizing…
Eh, fuck ’em. Toss both pills over the palings, ignore everything and walk the thin, liminal places they ignore. Piss on it all.
25 responses to “Half-penny thoughts — 29jul26”
It has taken me a lifetime to welcome and feel secure in life on the fringe. It started with the painful death of the person who most mattered to me and the only one who fully accepted me as I am. When he was gone and I was truly on my own, I made no excuses to the rest of the world for my existence. If it meant leading a solitary life (I actually learned to enjoy dining out alone, with a book), so be it. The upshot is the handful of people who remained in my tiny circle of friends are now the people I cherish the most.
Part of me has always been on the fringe as well, and I’d rather be there if that’s what it takes to be who I am.
There are times though, where I wonder if trying to be kind or wanting to be real should feel all that “fringe”. Not everything needs to be so transactional. Or does it?
I agree that life has become largely transactional. And, kindness can sometimes feel like being on the fringe. But my way to rebel against both is to remain altruistic–kindness first and foremost, wanting nothing in return. When you expect the least and get the most, it’s always a joyful experience. And, that removes the transactional part of the equation.
I think it is the paradigm shift from “You get what you give” attitude that we grew up with that has somehow morphed into “What do I get?” in recent years that grates.
It shouldn’t feel radical to perform acts of kindness.
Or is it more radical than I realize? LOL.
Not radical–basic human response that somehow we are evolving away from.
💙
It’s a feeling we all share at some point, that ‘piss on it’ feeling.
I’m not sure why I’m particularly piqued today. More sleep wouldn’t hurt; of this, I am certain.
Sleep is beautiful. If I could fine me a man that was a good nights sleep and a cheeseburger rolled into one, it’d be heaven on earth.
Think big. A Juicy Lucy (Lucius?).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jucy_Lucy
😲
Holy wow!
If you make it yourself, be careful of the molten lava cheese within. They are delicious.
I want one!
Thanks for sharing. Didn’t know about such. Yum!
I pray your day gets better. 🙏🏻 🌸
It should get less grumbly once I hit the nap scene. And have kitten cuteness overload.
🐈⬛💯
Yep. It’s called getting old, and society doesn’t give a sh*t about us because we’re wise to the game and not stumping up our hard-earned for the rubbish they’re peddling the way the think-they-know-it-all but actually-know-eff-all youth will. Do your thing and the hell with them all. 🙁
Well tell those damned kids to get out of my yard or they will meet the righteous fury of my walking cane!
🦀🦀🦀😂😂😂
Just yes.
Not easy to swallow, but hey, that’s what is.
Or “Mu,” as Joshu famously put it.
This. All this. I just spent a few days at a writing retreat with a bunch of creative folks and coming back feels abrasive. I want to sit across from people and talk nonsense. I want to wear costumes and dance at sunset. I don’t want all the other stuff, certainly can’t pretend to fit in, and I get exhausted by a world that seems to value money and little else. Crawling back in my hole now.
So envious!
I just go off into my own little vibe, and wow my bad poetry and bad songs and silly stories. 🙂
Your vibe is quite good, my friend.
Thank you Bridgette 💙