I sometimes wish I could be the knight bewitched by La Belle Dame sans Merci. I might be doomed to an imminent grave, but at least I will enjoy heading to my doom.
Or, perhaps, I feel more like hopping in my skiff and riding the stream after failing to keep my focus on the mirror, and looking at beauty riding on by as did The Lady of Shallot.
Or give myself to the waters in a fit of madness, as poor Ophelia did.
Who suffered more? Tristan or Isolde? Let me taste that joy in the time before they fell.
This is all absurdity, and yet… and yet… At moments there was joy.
20 responses to “idle thoughts”
This piece is beautiful and bittersweet.
Thank you 💙
To reach those highs, no matter how brief…
Like a moth to a flame.
And the draw to the pain…
Very much so. But that’s my nature, I expect.
Big black dog, nipping at my heals.
I know you.
You chase me.
Bite me.
Catch me.
Smother me.
Your weight is more than I can bare.
We fight.
Wrestle.
I run. You chase.
I hide. You sniff me out.
If I’m inside, you’re outside.
If I’m outside; you’re inside,
waiting to pounce.
Big black dog, nipping at my heals.
Can we be friends?
Can you give me peace?
Only when I lose myself where I can’t find me.
*Doyle used the phrase ‘the black dog’ as a metaphor for depression in his Sherlock stories. Many times Watson refers to Holmes being chased by it. Google says that it was popularized by Winston Churchill.
You caught me out. 😅 It’s my normal state of being to be hounded by the black dog.
But I cope and can even jest about it most of the time.
It this penned by you or is it a quote? Either way, thank you 🙏
Penned by me.
I was watching a video about how men and women handle depression differently. It was very interesting. According to that particular doctor; men act out where women tend to withdraw inward.
Very nice. Thank you!
I am probably the exception to the rule in that I tend to internalize my depression, mostly to avoid people trying to “fix” me.
You are welcome.
I can understand that feel of not wanting to have someone ‘fix’ you.
I know what you mean, and it’s not absurd. Not everybody feels that joy, I think, and I suspect the market for romantic books/films etc is driven by the desire of those who never loved, or loved and lost perhaps, who are looking to find the feeling, or find memories of how it used to be. Maybe Ophelia, Isolde, Tristan and their ilk were the lucky ones – because if the joy isn’t cut short by a tragic ending, there’s the risk that it will all become mundane and boring, because can it last a lifetime? Now you’ve got me at it … 🙂
I’m sorry! 🤣
There is that element of loss that makes it more bittersweet in the end, isn’t there? I find myself mistrusting of the happily ever afters. They seem very unlikely.
Then again, I’m a morose cuss.
Ditto, in some aspects of me. I don’t trust the ‘happy ever afters’ any more than I trust the ‘we never ever argue’ crowd. I never ever argued until I got married; there’s a moral in there somewhere. Have a suitably morose week, with added bah humbug for the season. 😎
Bah!
😉
I never thought I’d get married – then I bumped into a lurking Loki…and fell in love with a God. I love the idea of ‘happy ever after’ – it’s fabulous in a book/film/tv but I also find it sad that in the moment the story ends. That’s what I love about the kids film “Tangled” – once they have their happy ever after they choose new dreams to go after together. The fact that most stories end with a love story is cute but sometimes a happy ever after isn’t always romantic but can still be filled with love & hope. If you don’t mind a few tears & shouting at characters on your tv screen their is a beautiful film “A Man Called Otto” it’s super different and weird yet very beautiful at how it shows lifes twists & the unexpected ways the universe interferes – it is bittersweet but it just hits you in the feels about life in general & how love isn’t just romantic – anyway I’ll quit rambling but enjoy the film if you watch it!
Looks like Hulu is streaming it in the US. I might take a peek, but I’ve been disinterested in screen-watching lately, so I don’t know how soon that might be. My quirks not withstanding, thanks for the suggestion. I could always use those.
I’m probably weird for being more attuned to tragic romances. 😅
Well if it ‘peeks’ your interest enjoy! I do have a couple of the more tragic recommendations: “Remember Me” and “Me before You”. I’m enjoying screen time right now but I know what you mean – I’ve had a rough few months so I’m binge watching while resting – guess I should dust off my blog at some point 😅
I always enjoy your thoughts and company. Looking forward to you posting more. I’ll look those two up.
Likewise 😊