Tag: experimental

  • Notice of Discrepancy II

    The chime promised fresh coffee. Reconstituted, and pleased to be.

    The grog was hair-of-the-dog strong — except there’d been no dog, and no drink. Just the memories, still settling, the way a hangover settles. This wasn’t a rub-your-eyes morning. Ellison sat on the edge of the bed and let the coffee burn his throat into submission anyway, as if the body’s problem were anywhere near the throat.

    He put on yesterday’s clothes, scratched his ribs, and tried to shake the memories loose. Both the scheduled and the recurring.

    The chime dropped all cheer and turned to chide. Ellison checked his watch. Half past fourteen. Late on the skip again, and his boss was past words now, moving to the file itself.

    He made a gesture for the chime’s eye. Late, and logged as such. It had decided his fate beforehand.

    Feedback, then office chatter, the voice punching through it.

    you’re late ell. again. and it looks like you haven’t done your paperwork on the jacobs write-off.

    i came in late from the skip. i’ll get to it.

    get to it now, accounting is already breathing down my neck about their assets. and…

    The and hung there, unfinished, and Ellison winced into the gap. Then the voice came back.

    it looks like recovery went tits up as well. can you remind me what i’m paying you for, ell? burning assets and dropped recoveries? that in your job profile? or did they change it?

    Ellison did not reply. It was not on-plan.

    get to that paperwork. london office asks about their asset at sixteen, and i need something to tell them. gimme a preview in case they call sooner.

    Ellison shrugged for the eye. It was logged. Brook did not care about performative gestures, but it was better to have a shrug on file. The chime rewarded Ellison with a happy ding.

    he was an idiot.

    Brook waited until Ellison could not wait anymore.

    he skipped out of shadow. the target took offense. he died for it.

    no one checked for an eye?

    Ellison thought about it. And then made it a second time.

    we scanned. nil. oldtown, though. there were windows.

    It was Brook’s turn to pause.

    fuckin’ limeys. all cock, empty cranium. gimme that report, stat.

    A last screech of feedback, and the line died. Ellison sat with a punch-list gone long and that dog barking in his head.

    So he did the only sensible thing: He lit up.

    It was logged.


    Note: These “Notice of Discrepancy” titled posts are an attempt to step well outside my comfort zone when it comes to narrative framing. I have strict rules that I’ve established for myself that I follow on these pieces, although it may often seem scattershot. I apologize in advance if something doesn’t work as intended. It is still an interesting experiment, regardless of the ultimate success.

  • Notice of Discrepancy I

    He lit a cigarette. The small fire agreed to live for a while, the way everything here did — provisionally, and watching the door. Flick ash and raindrop. A siren screamed the alley red and blue. He stepped back into the dark and joined his cigarette in its watching.

    Some doors wait. This one had been threshold patient all night, and he found he could match it — let the hours stand open beside him, going nowhere, the way the rain kept not quite falling.

    goddammit.

    Jacobs back already, the sandwich arriving before he did.

    nothing?

    Ellison let the cigarette do his talking for him in drag and exhale.

    new mexico…

    Mouth full to bursting, the syllables shoving past it.

    the desert is supposed to be dry, innit?

    arizona.

    howzat?

    arizona. flagstaff. as in: not desert.

    Deli-paper crinkle as it skittered to the corner. A belch announcing that dinner was done.

    thought arizona was all desert. you yanks canna make up your mind.

    Ellison let the wet pavement and cigarette answer in hiss.

    Jacobs opened his mouth to say something. No cards left.

    He did, however, sport a new hole in his forehead.

    The door had wearied of staying shut. Someone stepped through, did the necessary thing, and the alley went back to being an alley.


    I’m trying out something new, uncertain if I will continue adding to it. We’ll have to see if it still feels good when I get around to writing more.

    Assuming I do.

    There is a lot of very carefully designed structure in this piece and I hope that it not only holds, but lands right as well. I’m purposefully writing in an uncomfortable style for me to see what happens when I do. The framing rules I used are easy to hit “fail-states” with — underdone, they seem weak; played too freely and they seem excessive in short order.

    Thanks for reading.

  • The Wormwood Mason

    AI-generated image with refinements by Michael Raven using Gemini agent

    Erza trudged up the muddy two-wheel track leading to the Vane cabin, making sure to cover his bound notebook under his slicker to keep it dry. The rough path was greasy with the steady drizzle of rain that had arrived at Wormwood the same day as he had. He had despaired of driving the last quarter-mile to the cabin immediately upon seeing the conditions from the two-lane, shoulder-less county road that passed by the homestead. When choosing his rental car, he had emphasized economy over practicality. He regretted, not the first time on this expedition, that he had not rented something with four-wheel drive for a trek into the heart of Appalachia.

    (more…)