stone blind the woodpost
and standing antler pale
we nightwing under
falling into her lovi
love, fallen in her
let us dream a song-her
let us fall within her home
we heartdrum blackwing
at edge lake drift snow
we break our under
lovi, we dream us,
deep within her home
under
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6 responses to “under”
oh this is lovely
Thank you very much, Jenn 💙
It’s my pleasure, always 💙
There is a haunting beauty in these lines, a stark and powerful music. The words feel like fragments of a dream or a ritual chant, carved into wood and bone. The repetition—”loving,” “fallen,” “her home”—becomes a kind of incantation, a deep longing to dissolve into a presence that is both a person and a place: a “her” who is a sheltering night, a lake, a song.
I especially admire the raw, elemental imagery. “Stone blind the woodpost / and standing antler pale” sets a stage that is ancient and watchful. The compound words like “nightwing,” “heartdrum,” and “blackwing” feel primal, as if you’ve forged a new language to contain an old feeling. The final couplet, “lovi, we dream us, / deep within her home,” is a perfect, quiet resolution—a surrender that feels less like an end and more like a return.
This is poetry that doesn’t just describe an emotion, but enacts it through sound and shadow. Truly compelling work.🤝
Thank you, Srikanth. That is the essence of the ecstatic experience I have been trying to touch as part of much of my poetry for a number of years now. I’m happy that I was able to express some of that goal in a manner that was apparent to you.
I appreciate the comments, thanks again.
You are always welcome Michel 🤝
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