…something had happened to him in his late twenties that seemed to manoeuvre him away from other people, not just his friends, but from the normal course of human affairs. He’d begin to catch people exchanging glances whenever he spoke up in group situations; or they would be half smiling when he entered the offices and warehouses he worked in, but he never stayed for very long before he moved on to something else equally unsatisfactory. Invitations to join others lessened, then ceased before he was thirty-two. Only damaged and insecure women seemed to find comfort in his company, though they had little interest in him besides his being a confirming presence. By thirty-four he was lonely. Lonely. Genuinely.
…[U]nless he was talking to Hutch alone, his every attempt to start a conversation in the group had been treated like an ill-thought-out statement, or just ignored. No one even tried to pick up the threads he started. Most often there would be a silence and then the other three would fall back into whatever natural camaraderie they had rediscovered.
~ Adam Nevill, The Ritual: A Novel
Luke’s thoughts are relatable. Very much so.
He’s the outsider at a reunion of former university roommates who have gone on a hike in remote Sweden together on holiday. Then, as things go from bad to worse, the restraint everyone shows begins to dissolve and their weaknesses emerge. Luke’s weakness is his lack of belonging, Hutch is a know-it-all people-pleaser to a fault, Dom is that “fun guy” that has to have someone to pick on to retain the title (Luke is the butt of most of Dom’s jokes), and Phil is the sad sap that always goes along with the crowd — even when innovation, fresh thinking and the courage to step up is absolutely required to solve the problems a given crowd encounters.
Luke is the outsider at a reunion of former university roommates who have gone on a hike in remote Sweden together on holiday. Then, as things go from bad to worse, the restraint everyone shows begins to dissolve and their weaknesses emerge. Luke’s weakness is his lack of belonging, Hutch is a know-it-all people-pleaser to a fault, Dom is that “fun guy” that has to have someone to pick on to retain the title (Luke is the butt of most of Dom’s jokes), and Phil is the sad sap that always goes along with the crowd — even when innovation, fresh thinking and the courage to step up is absolutely required to solve the problems a given crowd encounters.
Luke leverages his “weakness” (at least so far in the book, and I forget how the movie handled it). He’s a loner and that is looking to be an asset in the group’s current situation [I am about 45% through the story].
I come from a similar background before my current iteration as a “professional”, father and homeowner. Few true responsibilities, jack-of-all-trades, low income, apartment-to-apartment living (sometimes basement dwelling at a friend’s or relative’s home). Freedom without the money to explore it much. Around the same age, I started having similar experiences.
And I don’t know that they’ve stopped. Spoiler: I’m not very relatable these days, especially after I went sober and cut the smokes. I can’t seem to connect to most people very well at all anymore without those two social crutches.
I’m curious if people think this is just a natural progression for some people? Do the Luke’s of the world just age out of being social? Or do you think there is an element of a trigger that puts them on this path towards being a solitary individual? Or have they always been solitary individuals who had a the conditions exactly right for a period where they were tricked into thinking otherwise?
I’m not looking for amateur psychoanalysis of my own condition (to cut off anyone’s temptation to do so at the pass), I am more interested in your general thoughts about the “social outsiders” amongst us.
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